Using Locus of Control and Circle of Control / Influence to empower yourself and build a successful business and life
Ok, so that was a bit of a mouthful.
But I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few weeks, and these pieces truly seem to overlap when it comes to understanding who wins and, ultimately, who loses in the game of life.
You see, I’ve been mentoring (mostly) entrepreneurs, to create success in their businesses and lives for over 6 years now, and there are certain things that I see happening over and over again, that frequently indicate how much success my clients do or don’t achieve.
Take “Locus of Control” (proposed by Julian Rotter, way back in the fifties) for example: a concept that places us on a spectrum of either believing that we have agency over our lives, and are responsible for the things that happen to us (internal locus) versus, at the other extreme, the belief that things are down to luck, our successes a fluke, our lives determined by government policy and world events and social dogma and past trauma (external locus) - things we have little influence over - rather than what we can, and do, do for ourselves.
Of course, these two extremes sit on a continuum, with most people falling somewhere in between, but I have found that those who lean more heavily towards an internal locus reliably create significantly better outcomes for themselves and live in a hugely more empowered state on the daily.
Whereas those who come to me looking to be instructed, to be hand-held, to be fixed, pretty much never expand into the success they desire (a big reason why I no longer work with folks who demonstrate this kind of perspective).
And it is this external locus that I see reflected in thousands of new entrepreneurs, at the very beginnings of their businesses, who constantly seek out the coach/consultant/strategist who will provide the silver bullet, that will turn their business into an “overnight” success, only to find themselves let down by the universe or, more often, burned out by the hustle-heavy strategies, and - in the rare event that they actually create the material success promised - discover that the business they have built is an insatiable monster that is bleeding them emotionally, physically, and energetically dry.
Which is not to say that an external locus is limited to beginners.
Not at all.
For I’ve seen instances whereby established and successful folks lose faith in themselves and shift away from an internal locus (because of a run of difficulties that they perceive as terminal rather than temporary and self-created for their own growth) and start to lean on luck, manifestation, get-rich/slim/booked/qualified/published/etc-quick systems, and so on - only to see their results fall off the proverbial cliff as they literally hand over their personal power to things outside of themselves.
And it is this leaning into (and even obsessing over) things that cannot reliably influence our lives, and that we also have limited influence over ourselves, that leads us conveniently into the “Circle of Control / Influence / Concern” model proposed by Steven Covey.
For those who don’t know, the outer circle of concern includes everything on our radar that has the potential to impact our lives - world events, social constructs, government policy, environmental issues, etc - over which most of us have little influence. While the inner, aptly named circles of influence and control, include the things we have influence or agency over, e.g. our own emotions, attitudes and behaviours, and the emotions, attitudes and behaviours of those who engage with us or observe us from a distance.
Viewing my client experiences through this lens, it will likely come as no surprise that those who focus their energy mostly (or entirely) in their circles of control and influence, consistently create better outcomes and feel much more empowered because they see real-world results quickly and aren’t wasting their energy and emotions frustrating themselves over things they have little power to change.
There are exceptions of course.
Those who’ve decided that they feel so passionate about something beyond their circle of influence that they’ve sought out and collaborated with those who do have experience and influence, and thus draw something that was previously beyond their reach into their circle of influence; becoming leaders and activists instead of driving themselves insane.
But these are much more the exception than the rule (although I’m all for being exceptional).
So what is it that I’m trying to say here?
Mostly it is that, if you want to live a successful and empowered life - which by my definition means building the reality you desire in joyful and deeply satisfying ways - then stop handing your power off.
To the universe. To God. To the economy. To luck.
But also to the world’s injustices.
Which is not to say that they’re not important.
Of course they are.
And it’s not to say that you shouldn’t have strong opinions, and share them with everyone who will listen, if you’re so inclined.
Please do.
Go to the march.
Sign the petition.
Write the article.
Make the speech.
Lobby the government.
Volunteer your time or money or whatever.
Most importantly, perhaps, speak out when you see real world injustice happening right in front of you, instead of biting your tongue.
Use your influence, such as it is.
But beyond that. Let it go.
Don’t let things, that are far outside of you, take over your life.
Don’t squander your power and your joy agonising over things you have little (or no) influence to change.
Not because the little person can’t make a difference, but because the agony it will create inside of you doesn’t benefit anyone, and there are far better ways for you to make a difference.
Because the world - as it is - is more in need of strong, compassionate, kind, joyful, focused, successful leaders than ever.
Because the world is in need of you.
At your most empowered/
So why not expand your influence that way?
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Support others to create impact in their circle of influence, which will no doubt be somewhat different to yours, through your own unique gifts, talents, and work.
Do what you powerfully can.
To help others do what they powerfully can.
Because, seriously, what could be more powerful than that?
